Quantcast
nodot nodot
Wild Cards
December 2007 Article

Latest Wild Cards Article

Wild Cards Archives:
2004 - 2014
1998 - 2003

Tennis Server
HOME PAGE

Do You Want To Be A Better Tennis Player?

Then Sign Up For A Free Subscription to the Tennis Server INTERACTIVE
E-mail Newsletter!

You will join 25,000 other subscribers in receiving news of updates to the Tennis Server along with monthly tennis tips from tennis pro Tom Veneziano that won't be found on the web site.
 
Best of all, it is free!

Player Profiles:
 
Top Pros (Women)
tennis ball Serena Williams
tennis ball Maria Sharapova
tennis ball Simona Halep
tennis ball Petra Kvitova
tennis ball Na Li
tennis ball Agnieszka Radwanska
tennis ball Eugenie Bouchard
tennis ball Ana Ivanovic
tennis ball Caroline Wozniacki
tennis ball Angelique Kerber
 ... more profiles
 
Top Pros (Men)
tennis ball Novak Djokovic
tennis ball Roger Federer
tennis ball Rafael Nadal
tennis ball Stanislas Wawrinka
tennis ball David Ferrer
tennis ball Kei Nishikori
tennis ball Tomas Berdych
tennis ball Marin Cilic
tennis ball Milos Raonic
tennis ball Grigor Dimitrov
 ... more profiles
 
Tennis Features Icon TENNIS FEATURES:

BETWEEN THE LINES - Ray Bowers takes an analytical and sometimes controversial look at the ATP/WTA professional tour.
 
PRO TENNIS SHOWCASE - Tennis match reports and photography from around the world.
 
TURBO TENNIS - Ron Waite turbocharges your tennis game with tennis tips, strategic considerations, training and practice regimens, and mental mindsets and exercises.
 
TENNIS ANYONE? - USPTA Pro John Mills' quick player tip.
 
WILD CARDS - Each month a guest column by a new writer.
 
TENNIS SET - Jani Macari Pallis, Ph.D. looks at tennis science, engineering and technology.
 
MORTAL TENNIS - Greg Moran's tennis archive on how regular humans can play better tennis.
 
MENTAL EQUIPMENT - Explore the mental side of the game with Dr. John Murray.
 
TENNIS WARRIOR - Tom Veneziano's Tennis Warrior archive.
 
HARDSCRABBLE SCRAMBLE - USPTA pro Mike Whittington's player tip archive.
 
TENNIS EQUIPMENT TIPS.

Tennis Community Icon TENNIS COMMUNITY:


Tennis Book, DVD, and Video Index
 
Tennis Server Match Reports
 
Editor's Letter
 
Become a Tennis Server Sponsor

Explore The Tennis Net Icon EXPLORE THE TENNIS NET:

Pro Tennis Calendar & Event Links
 
Tennis News and Live Tennis Scores
 
Tennis Links on the Web
 
nodot
Wild Cards
 
Green Dot
 
Tennis Warehouse Logo
 
Green Dot

 
nodot
A Tennis Christmas List
by Tony Severino
Certified Instructor 4A
Professional Tennis Registry

Tony Serverino Photo
Tony Severino

Santa, you sly ole elf! We know you!

You're a tennis player!

We have a photograph to prove it.

Tennis Santa Claus

White tennis balls!!

C'mon Santa.

When I was a boy at Christmas time we would put our Christmas Wish List in our stockings, hung on an artificial fireplace made of cardboard with a brick facade of crepe paper. We didn't have a real one, but that didn't hamper the illusion.

In those days we were lucky to receive one gift and luckier still if it was something on the list. Along with the stocking stuffer goodies you always added a few lumps of coal to remind us of the times we were less than well behaved. It was such fun making up those Christmas Wish Lists, that I made one up for tennis; my Tennis Christmas Wish List.

My wishes are not for presents, like a new tennis racquet, or tennis sweater or new sneakers, nothing like that. My wishes are mostly for you to help those poor wretched professional tennis players who endure such painful on-court histrionics. I'm not sure if you can help them, but I believe you can use your upbeat spirit to change their ways. And I'm asking you, Santa, because, you're a tennis player and we know where your heart is.

Anyway, here is my Tennis Christmas Wish List.

Wish #1 is about that screaming, and shrieking and grunting.

Mercy, Santa! All those agonized moans on court! It is painful just to hear them. Maybe you could put some pain killers in their stockings and all that unpleasant noise will go away. That's my first wish.

Wish #2 is about all that fist pumping.

Wow! Who are these people angry with, shaking their fists at any and everyone in general when they finish a point? Is there something you can you do to bring them inner peace and put an end to all that animosity and that silly fist pumping?

That would be great.

Wish #3 is for wearing baseball caps backwards.

One Christmas morning you left extra lumps of coal in my stocking. I knew why. There was this girl who did nutty things, a little slow on the uptake. We used to say "she has her head on backwards." I deserved it.

Professional tennis players appear to have their heads on straight so it shouldn't be too difficult to teach them how to wear a cap properly. Surely they are intelligent enough to understand that the peak goes in front to shade the sun. You might leave a mirror in their stockings so they can see how dumb they look. That should be sufficient. Your helpers could even write instructions on the proper way to wear a cap and leave those in there too. That might work.

Or, if for some reason they must have a brim in the rear, you could put a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker style cap in their stockings. That would be better than lumps of coal and serve both purposes, and not look as dumb.

Remember Ivan Lendl wore a Foreign Legion style cap for awhile with the curtain in the rear. That was different. Even one of those would be better than coal.

If nothing else works, you might have them pose for the cover of Mad Magazine and give Alfred E. Nueman a break. Whatever! That's my third wish.

Wish #4 is about wearing white only at Wimbledon.

It's funny. To get around the all-white dress requirement at Wimbledon some players have developed clever, sometimes outrageous, costumes designed to add "color" to their outfits. Some even sneak in some colored trim, testing the Brits' resolve no doubt. It often looks like a fashion designers' show featuring costumes that few, if any, we'll ever see again. Famous tennis fashion designer, Ted Tingling, (Love and Faults) surely beams from his resting place come the July classic. He would have reveled in being part of all this.

Even you, Santa, play in a bright red outfit which would give the British traditionalists apoplexy. The Brits gave in to color on the balls; yellow. Why not clothing? Can you use your influence to persuade them to allow it? Consider this, what would Fourth of July fireworks be if they were in white only?

Wish #5 is about those on-court gargoyles.

Mercy Me! Some of those on-court facial contortions render medieval gargoyles tame in comparison. Players win a game and suddenly it looks like an audition for the cover of Fangoria magazine. Is there some way to ease the pain that causes those grotesque contortions? Something is torturing these poor souls.

If you placed pictures of how they look in their stockings they should be embarrassed enough to spare the watching public those wretched images. That's my fifth wish.

Well Santa, I know this may be a challenge. These wishes are not of the cheerful kind you usually receive. But if you can't work your magic on them, I know a place where you can pick up some coal cheap.


If you wish to provide a comment to the author of this Wild Cards column, please use this form. Tennis Server will forward the comment to the author.

Green DotGreen DotGreen Dot

Wild Cards Archives:
1998 - 2003 | 2004 - 2014


If you have not already signed up to receive our free e-mail newsletter Tennis Server INTERACTIVE, you can sign up here. You will receive notification each month of changes at the Tennis Server and news of new columns posted on our site.

This column is copyrighted by the author, all rights reserved.


 

nodot
nodot
Google
Web tennisserver.com
nodot nodot
The Tennis Server
Ticket Exchange

Your Source for tickets to professional tennis & golf events.
 
Barclays ATP World Tour Finals Tennis Tickets 11/7-11/14
 
Davis Cup Finals: France vs Switzerland Tennis Tickets 11/21
 
Chris Evert Pro-Celeb Tennis Classic Tickets 11/22-11/23
 
2015 BNP Paribas Open Tickets Indian Wells 3/11-3/22
 
2015 Miami Open Tennis Tickets 3/23-4/5
 
2015 US Open Tennis Tickets 8/31-9/13
 

 

Tennis MindGame

 
Popular Tennis books:
 
Smart Tennis by John Murray
 
Winning Ugly: Mental Warfare in Tennis-Lessons from a Master by Brad Gilbert, Steve Jamison
 
The Best Tennis of Your Life: 50 Mental Strategies for Fearless Performance by Jeff Greenwald
 
The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
 
Most Recent Articles:
 
Tennis Warrior: Five Powerful Tennis Concepts by Tom Veneziano.
 
October 2014 Tennis Anyone: Why Can I Not Poach? by John Mills.
 
October 2014 Turbo Tennis: Momentum Revisited by Ron Waite.
 
October 12, 2014 Between The Lines: Home Stretch 2014 -- On the Hard Courts of Asia by Ray Bowers.
 
Tennis Warrior: In Tennis, Principle Trumps Emotion by Tom Veneziano.
 
September 2014 Tennis Anyone: Things To Do and Not To Do by John Mills.
 
September 2014 Turbo Tennis: The Only Thing You Have To Fear Is Fear Itself!!! by Ron Waite.
 
September 9, 2014 Between The Lines: Dissecting U.S. Open 2014 by Ray Bowers.
 
August 2014 Wild Cards: The Tennis Round Table: Interviews With Jim Courier, Todd Martin & Mark Philippoussis in Arizona by Vince Barr.
 
May 2014 Wild Cards: Michael Chang Wins Cancer Treatment Centers of America Tennis Challenge in Arizona by Vince Barr.
 

 

 

 

 
 
Featured events in the Tennis Server Ticket Exchanges:
 
  Featured Tickets:
BNP Paribas Open Tickets Indian Wells CA Tennis Garden
Miami Open Tennis Tickets Miami Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center
 

  Featured Tickets:
Western & Southern Open Cincinnati Tennis Tickets Session 1 W&SFG Cincy Mason OH Lindner Family Center Financial Group Masters
Western & Southern Open Cincinnati Tennis Tickets Session 2 W&SFG Cincy Mason OH Lindner Family Center Financial Group Masters
Western & Southern Open Cincinnati Tennis Tickets Session 3 W&SFG Cincy Mason OH Lindner Family Center Financial Group Masters
Western & Southern Open Cincinnati Tennis Tickets Session 4 W&SFG Cincy Mason OH Lindner Family Center Financial Group Masters

  Featured Tickets:
US Open Tennis Tickets Men's Final Session 26 New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Women's Final Session 25 New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Men's Semifinals Session 24 New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Women's Semifinals Session 23 New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Men's Quarterfinals Session 22 New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona

  Featured Tickets:
Sony Open Tennis All Session Strip Tickets Miami Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center
Sony Open Tennis Session 1 Tickets Miami Men's & Women's Singles Qualifying Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center
Sony Open Tennis Session 2 Tickets Miami Men's & Women's Singles Qualifying & Women's Singles 1st Round Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center
Sony Open Tennis Session 3 Tickets Miami Men's & Women's Singles 1st Round Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center
Sony Open Tennis Session 4 Tickets Miami Men's & Women's Singles 1st Round Key Biscayne FL Crandon Park Center

  Featured Tickets:
US Open Tennis Tickets Session 7 Second Round New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Session 6 Men's First Round Women's Second Round New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Session 5 Men's First Round Women's Second Round New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Session 4 Opening Round New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona
US Open Tennis Tickets Session 3 Opening Round New York City NYC NY Flushing Meadows Corona

 
 
"Tennis Server" is a registered trademark and "Tennis Server INTERACTIVE" is a trademark of Tennis Server. All original material and graphics on the Tennis Server are copyrighted 1994 - by Tennis Server and its sponsors and contributors. Please do not reproduce without permission.

 

Tennis Server
Cliff Kurtzman
Editor-in-chief
2323 Clear Lake City Boulevard
Suite 180-139
Houston, Texas 77062-8120
Phone: (281) 480-6300
Fax: (281) 480-7715
Online Contact Form
How to support Tennis Server as a Sponsor/Advertiser
Tennis Server Privacy Policy